It’s better not to bottle things up.
A married woman revealed that her husband allegedly called her flatulence “absolutely revolting” – after only farting once in front of him during their nine-year relationship.
The anonymous wife confided in Kidspot readers that she was aware of his distaste for inappropriate bodily functions, namely burping and passing wind. One time, one of her friends let out a belch and he spent their entire trip home rehashing how “gross” it was.
“After hearing his very strong thoughts on the topic, I made a mental note to ensure my own expelling of gas was done in a very private matter and contained within the bathroom and toilet or until he was not around to hear it,” she wrote.
That is, until one night, her “guard was down” and the “post-pizza gasses” came back to haunt her. Lying in bed next to her husband, she accidentally let one rip – and was met with a disgusted look.
“Farting is the most unladylike thing a woman can do, especially in front of her husband,” he told her at the time, calling it “revolting.”
She admitted to being “embarrassed” – it was a fart she’d be humiliated by even if she “was alone on the toilet” – absolutely mortified that she had “finally slipped.” The following morning, she apologized to her disgruntled partner, but to no avail.
“While at the time he accepted my apology, ever since it has happened, he keeps reminding me of it in different ways as if he is teaching me a lesson and making sure that I will never do it again,” she wrote.
For example, she added, if they’re watching a show or movie and someone cuts the cheese, he’ll remind her “how disgusting it is by making a disgruntled noise or even talking about how uncivilized it is afterwards.”
The unnamed wife kept her disgrace to herself until she couldn’t take it anymore, finally turning to a friend for some relationship advice. Instead of “suggesting anything helpful,” the woman wrote, her “outraged” friend immediately berated the husband for his behavior.
Her friend insisted that she “shouldn’t feel guilty about it” and said that “farting and burping is a natural bodily function” for anyone.
“While I understand that for many people, like my friend, that burping and farting in front of their partner is not a big deal, for my husband it is,” the anonymous writer continued.
“It is really the only thing that is a big deal for him and while others may say it isn’t important, for me it is because for my husband who I love and who in every other way is so wonderful, thinks it is,” she added.
But holding in farts could cause a stink – and land you in the hospital.
One 19-year-old held in her gas for two years around her boyfriend, earning her a trip to the emergency room due to the pain. Clinicians discovered her appendix had burst, leading the poor girl to believe it was due to her holding in her farts.
Another unfortunate woman had dangerous gas build-up because she couldn’t let it rip, claiming she wasn’t on “farting terms” with her significant other.
This article was originally posted by The New York Post.